A good day today. Weather has been great so I've been out in the garden, tidying and painting the fences. The whizzy paint sprayer has to be the best thing I've bought in ages, its lovely and quick.
Poppy is still perky, which is great, and we had a fab walk up on the hill again today. I love it that we never see anyone else and can potter about as we please and the view is fantastic too.
Spoke to my mum again today and she's still very interested and really pleased for me after my weigh-in yesterday. Thanks ladies for the suggestions of CD - I mentioned it to her and she's going to see how I get on and maybe think about doing it later in the year.
Only had a short chat with Mindy today as she's not got her home phone connected yet in the new house and the mobile reception is, at best, dodgy. Strange for central London, but there we go. The new house sounds wonderful and I can't wait for when we visit next month. She's had so much stress and hassle over the last few months that I'm so pleased she's finally in and it's everything she dreamed it would be.
I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of days about the conversation I had with my mum on Saturday and about my weight holding me back. It has, and it does, and I know it. I think thats probably what makes me feel sad about being overweight; how my perception of myself has affected me. Or rather, how I have let it affect me. Way back in my pre-fat days I used to go horse riding regularly, go ice skating, go clubbing etc and I loved all those things. I can't really remember the last time I did any of them. At work, there's often nights out but even if I'm not working I very rarely go. I just hate the feeling that I'll be the 'token fat-bird' and look stupid. I know that most of how I feel is probably stupid and purely down to my lack of self confidence, but I suppose I just got used to wanting to blend in and not stand out. Anyway, I'm going to try not to think about it too much and concentrate on looking forward. To being able to do what I want, whether its ride a horse, go out or whatever. Onwards and upwards!
3 comments:
Well done on the weight loss, I can see you are the women to beat! LOL
I love the way our minds are begining to make links with our past and hopefully start to put things in place for our future. Steamer sounds an excellent idea. We could not do without ours and all veg cooked in a pan now tastes of water.
We are the same age and far too young not to be out clubbing, socialising and being active. You will get there again, and maybe the next invitation that comes might be the right one to join them for a few hours. I can recommend a soda water with St Clements in a tall glass.
Keep penning pen to paper, and down the line we can swop healthy recipies when we are free to eat again. Lets face it, its not too long down the line in the scheme of things (it just feels like it sometime when our comfort kebab has been taken aways!!!!)
Sam xx
Yeah, I thik we probably all compensate for our weight in one way or another - I did get out and about but then felt I had to be the life and soul, you know the "fat but bubbly" cliche?! It's just as false in its way as hiding away. Reconnecting with our true selves through shedding all this blubber should make things a bit more real I hope.
Thanks for the thought-provoking post.
You're doing brilliantly - keep it up!
Lesley x
Dear Wendy
I have finally got organised enough to have a google mail account and be able to post a comment.
I've been reading all the LL blogs, which make a real difference.
I just want to say how great it has been to read your blog, particularly as you are working and doing dog rescue too. I've got a rescue Chocolate Lab and I've really been keeping fingers crossed for Pops. And you've held it altogether whilst coping with that. That's not easy!
I hope to join this virtual LL community and have added your blog details to mine. Hope to stay in touch.
Take care and keep going - you're doing so well.
Mrs Lard xx
(www.thelardarms.typepad.com)
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