I am such a good girl :o) I had a foodpack at about 9am and then went out on the transport run just before 11am. Hadn't thought to take a foodpack so drove up to Reading to collect the dog and then down to Bristol to drop off at the next stage of the run and didn't eat a single thing. I got home at about 3.45pm and was absolutely starving!!! I had to wait for about half an hour at Reading and despite going into the services to use the loo, I walked past the food area and didn't give in. As I knew I would have a bit of a wait, I stopped to get a magazine and bought a couple of cheap books and the girl on the till asked if I wanted a huge bar of chocolate for 99p!!! I was good and said no, but having that huge bar of bubbly Aero waved around in front of me nearly made me want to scream.
When I got to Bristol, the meeting point was in the Asda carpark, just across the road from McDonalds. My willpower stayed with me, even when I went into Asda to use the loo and had to go through the cafe area to get to it. How stupid is that? Let people use the toilets but make them go past all the hot food and cakes and coffee and other evil things. I abstained, and carried on with my water for the way home. I did manage to drink 1.5 litres while I was on the road, so thats good.
It did make me think though, that its no wonder I'm such a lardarse. I do a transport run every few weeks I suppose, although sometimes have done more than one a week, but each time I would stop off and get a large takeaway Latte and if I got hungry, I'd stop at Burger King or McDonalds and get burger and fries and eat as I drove. Its almost like I thought I would reward myself for doing the good deed of a transport run with junk food. It never occurred to me to make sandwiches to take along, or cereal bars or even actually eat breakfast before I went out.
I wonder how many of us think of food as a treat or reward? Or even just the idea that a reason or an excuse justifies eating what we do? If I ever go shopping with my mum, we'll stop for coffee and she'll always get cake or whatever and say its 'her treat'. I know its her way of thanking me for taking her out but just a thank you is fine, isnt it? I don't need to be treated with food, but being the pig I am, I accept it.
Talking of my mum, she doesn't know still that I've started on LL. My parents are away this week but I'll see them on Sunday as its Mothers Day. I doubt she'll notice any difference in me yet anyway and when I get there I can just drink water, so thats ok. I know I will tell her when she does notice, but at the moment I worry that she will worry about me and think its dangerous or whatever typically paternal worrying thought processes mum's have. Part of me wants to tell my mum as I know she'll understand why I can't be this big anymore and I'm sure that if I asked her, she would say that she worries about me and my weight.
Anyway, before I get too deep and meaninful, I shall go and make up a foodpack and tick off another glass of water.
5 comments:
Well done you. That's great stuff and it's so empowering (to use a terrible American phrase) to be able to face temptation head on and not flinch isn't it?
You're dead right about treats - that's one pf the things from the therapy tat has really chimed with me - "oh I deserve it"; "I've been really good today - it'll be a treat"; "I've had a terrible day, I need a treat". All stupid, destructive, crooked thoughts. Why hurt your body when you need a treat?
I said ages ago that I must never use food as a treat again - I obvously can't control it so must just take it out of that equation altogether.
Anyway, I hope you have fewer temptations tomorrow.
Lesley x
ooo Wendy think you hit the nail on the head there, me and OH was going down to the local retail site Friday just gone and I thought oh we can call in the pub for lunch not because I was hungry but just because it was there type of thing. Same thing whenver I go shopping I might call in McDs or Wetherspoons just for the sake of it really.
I used to have sweet foods as a treat or I'd have cake, biscuits as it was weekend. Very strange how we pick up these odd eating habits and how once you are able to stop and look at them we realise they don't make that much sense!!
Well done for resisting all the food temptations placed in your path today, you did very well.
Are there any pictures of the doglet??
Good for you Wendy. Who wants to put all that rubbish in their bodies anyway?
Wen I had the flu last week Mum came over to sit with me one day and she brought crusty rolls and cocolate profiteroles with her.....as a 'treat to cheer me up'. Duh! No wonder I have a problem with food.......
Chris x
Thanks ladies, its actually quite a relief to know I'm not the only one who see's foods as treats. And its usually the wrong foods!
Sorry Steph, no pics, but he was a very gorgeous GSD X Akita.
Well done Wendy, & I know what you mean about the treats. It's not something I'd really given much thought to before I started this, but as soon as you do, you do start to wonder why a 'treat' always seems to be food.
I'm the same if I go into town - I'll meet my friend or mum in Starbucks & we'll grab a latte & cake as a treat to start the day - then get depressed when clothes don't fit when you try them on - how crooked is that?!
Like you I was really worried about telling my mum about the diet, but we had the whole family over for the weekend so it was a bit hard not to. Anyway, she was really suppportive in the end, & I'm sure your mum will be too when you do tell her. I did make sure to tell mine that we get regular health checkups though, which I think helped!!
Oiseau x
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