Ooops

Just realised anyone who's reading this and doesnt know me won't have a clue who Bumpy is! BumpyJake is my 11 year old blind, one eye'd Black Labrador. I've had him nearly 2 years and he is my comedy dog - he makes me laugh each day and I love him to bits.

I also have Poppy, who is my little Choccie Lab angel. She's nearly 10 and was a brood bitch until she was rescued at 7 years old. She's sadly very poorly with heart disease but we're bumbling along.

This photo of them makes me giggle - we were walking on the Malrborough Downs and Poppy was most unimpressed with the wind in her ears.

Life in limbo...

Feel a bit like I'm in limbo now while I wait for Wednesday, although I suppose I won't actually be starting LL properly until Thursday. It's been a crappy day with the weather today so apart from getting drenched walking Bumpy, I've not done a lot. Haven't eaten much either and have a nice chicken pasta salad for my dinner tonight.

I'm at work tonight, on a 12 hour shift which finishes at 7am. I was due to be on nights Wednesday but managed to get a swap so I could go to join my LL group.

Strange thing with all this LL stuff is that I've told friends and online friends on the dog rescue forum I frequent, but I've not actually told my mum yet. I know that if I were to ask her whether she worries about my weight, she would tell me she does, so I know she would be supportive. Maybe I'm not saying anything as every other time I've started a diet I've told her but then failed?

I have been searching for other LL blogs and have found a couple that are really encouraging. It's really good to read other people's experiences and see how well they are doing with not only losing weight but also the changes that occur as part of the programme. I have read so much LL stuff lately I hope I'm as prepared as I can be, but I guess in a few days I'll find out!

Lesley, thank you so much for your lovely comment! I'm getting a bit addicted to your blog, I have to say *lol*. Will pop over and catch up :o)

4 days to go

Not much to report today. Went to Bristol to see a friend and had a couple of coffee's but then stopped on the way home at McDonalds. Did a bit of shopping in Sainsburys and got bacon to have a buttie for breakfast tomorrow. Feels odd, but in a good way, to think that all these things I like I will not eat again for months.

I bought some sweetners to have with coffee instead of sugar. I'm not keen on black coffee but I'll give it a go although I suspect I'll end up drinking water when I would normally have had coffee.

My bestest friend Mindy has given me a rather wonderful incentive - when I've got down to a size 14 she is going to buy me a Radley bag of my choice. I love my Radley things - I have one bag, one umbrella, a mobile phone holder, 2 purses and a mirror in a case. When I was in Bath yesterday I was looking at the Radley bags in House of Fraser and there are some lovely new ones. I'm not sure how much weight I will need to lose to get to a size 14, but I'm guessing its going to be autumn time, so perfect for the new season Radley bags. Its a very generous and lovely thing for her to do and not only am I looking forward to being the size I want to be, but I'll have a fab new Radley hanging off my arm!

While I was in the car earlier I drank a half litre bottle of water. My friend San who is doing so brilliantly well on LL said she usually drinks a litre of water on the way to and from work. I'm thinking thats a good plan and will have a bottle ready for when I'm in the car.

I just want to get to Wednesday now and get started. I have this overwhelming feeling that my life will change once I'm no longer fat. I hope I'm right...

Getting prepared

Sarah and I had a fab day today. I had what is probably my last Starbucks latte for several months (I'm a bit of a Starbucks addict). We did some shopping and I now have a lovely, shiney new electric hand blender so I can mix my soups and shakes properly and not have any nasty lumps. I also got 2 little electric whisks, small enough to keep one in my bag so if I'm out somewhere and need to mix a foodpack I can, and the other one will stay in my drawer at work.

I had a lovely long chat on the phone with my best friend Mindy just now and its so encouraging that she is supporting me completely. We've only known each other about 3 years but she said that in that time she's noticed my weight gain. She was too polite to tell me, bless her! Mindy is like my guardian angel and looks out for me all the time. Our common love is our dogs, all Labradors - we have 2 each. We're going on holiday in October and I'm excited to think that I will be thinner and have so much more energy to go out and about and do stuff. Even walking and talking will be great!

One of the main concepts of LL is the counselling sessions and support, but having good friends who will support me day to day is going to be invaluable. Sarah is thinking of doing LL herself and I hope she does. Maybe if I get off to a good start it will motivate her, and it was strange saying goodbye to her this evening knowing that when I see her next I will have lost weight.

I only see Mindy every couple of months as she lives in London, but as I probably won't see her until the end of April, by then I would have done about 6 weeks of LL, so I might have lost a stone and a half by then (LL average loss is a stone a month). Not sure it will show, but hopefully it will.

I've got a start date!!

Had an email back from Debbie yesterday evening with my start date - Wednesday 7th March! Eeeek!!!

So, as last night I had my last Chinese takeaway for a long time, I made the most of it and ate load. It was lovely though, and Sarah and I had a great evening catching up. Since Sarah moved up to Derby, I don't see her nearly as much so it was good to spend an evening nattering. We're off to Bath today to do some shopping and have lunch - I'm making the most of eating real food while I still can!

Part of me is terrified of starting LL in case I struggle with the foodpacks rather than real food, but the other part of me is thinking that by the end of this year, I could have lost the weight that has been getting me down so much for so many years.

Its not going to be easy, I know, but I've got to focus on the goal and I keep telling myself that its only several months out of my life. I'm 35 now, have been overweight for probably about 15 years, so whats a few months?

Last takeaway?

Well, in theory!! My good friend Sarah is coming down from Derby and staying tonight so we're having a Chinese takeaway. Chinese food is my favourite and I'm sure I'm going to miss it once I start LL, so I'm going to make the most of it tonight. And a glass or two of wine.

I've taken my medical form to Debbie, the counsellor, but she was out so I've left a voicemail. And emailed her! Its so strange that I am excited about not eating for months, but I'm so positive that this is the way forward for me, I just want to get started as soon as I can. I've been overweight for longer than I can remember and so much in my life seems to be affected by it. Lack of confidence, self loathing, sadness are just a few of the issues I have with myself.

Today is a good day so I'm not going to get myself down by thinking too much.

Happy today!

I've just been to see the practice nurse for my medical check. She was really, really lovely and fully supportive of me doing LL. She'd not heard of it but agreed that for some people who have a lot of weight to lose, we need something extreme to get the weight shifted.

I gave her the info booklet that Debbie gave me on Sunday which she's going to keep. She said she might even be interested in doing LL herself!!

The lovely thing was that when she said which days she was in so I could see her when I go for my regular blood pressure checks, she said she would do all she could to add to the support I was getting.