Sorry its been so long!

I think I got myself all blogged-out. I didn't realise I'd not posted for so long!

Well I'm still plodding along with CD. Currently 2lb's short of reaching the 4 stone mark, so pleased with that. It's taken 4 months to get this far but at least I have gone past the half way mark. Not sure what the final goal will be, but I've dropped from a size 22/24 to an 18 which is great and I got some jeans from the Debenhams sale a couple of weeks back that were size 16 and could get in them - just couldn't move or breath!

My mum started CD when she came back from her holidays and she is doing well too. One good thing is that she wasn't as big as me to start so she's been giving me some of her clothes that are too big for her and when I get too big for them, I'm selling them on ebay!

I've added a couple of photo's - the first a shockingly awful one of me taken at a dog show last year - probably the biggest I've been. I hate the photo as I look so bad but in many ways it reminds me that I never want to go back to that size. The other photo was taken at the beginning of June and I can really see the difference!

Hope everyone is doing well with their losses too.

Wendy x

Day 28 on CD

Have been to get weighed today and very pleased to report that I've lost 4lbs, so that makes up for the 1lb gain last week. Very happy now!!

Day 27 on CD

Still sticking with CD but still bored with it! I think I need to try and regain my focus so this week I'm going to make extra effort to catch up with everyone's blogs.

It's strange as I don't really notice any of the loss in myself yet other people have. After we went to collect Molly on Thursday Tracy posted some pics on The Refuge, including some of me (eeeek!!) and loads of people commented on how well I was looking. Its lovely, of course, but apart from tightening my belt an extra 5 notches since I started, I don't feel any different.

Yesterday I took the dogs and went down to south Wiltshire to see my friend Helen. She adopted a gorgeous Black Lab boy from us a few weeks ago and 'officially' I was doing her post adoption check, but it was also a chance to catch up. Helen lives in a tiny little village in a chocolate box cottage with her hubby and 4 dogs, 3 cats and free range chickens and guinea fowl. I'd completely forgotten about the chooks but thankfully Molly wasn't at all interested. Poppy and Helen's Chocolate Lab, Bert, have a bit of a luuurve thing going on so he was very impressed with me arriving with another choccie girl for him to schmooze. All of Helen's dogs are fab and they welcomed my lot straight in and played around in the garden.

When offered, I was very good and declined a cheese scone but just had a coffee. Helen's hubby was cooking bacon to make a sandwich but thankfully I wasn't the slightest bit tempted - mainly because he forgot about it being in the frying pan and was busy planting up the vegetable beds until Helen screamed at him that there was smoke billowing out of the house! I went in to use to loo and the whole cottage was full of thick smoke. Any worries I'd had about the tempting smell of cooking bacon wafting out were replaced with the stink of burnt frying pan. Probably just as well.

We took the dogs off out to a place called Wardour Castle and had a really good walk. All the dogs got on so well and did plenty of running about and some swimming. Helen's elderly and somewhat eccentric Bull Terrier, Cassie, kind of fell in the water and looked rather surprised but fortunately Helen pulled her out before she had the chance to swim or float out too far. Poppy stayed at the cottage with Helen's husband as she wouldn't have managed the walk but Bumpy and Molly had a good run.

I had been organised and taken a tetra pak of chocolate milkshake with me so drank that on the way home. It was a really lovely day as the weather was good, and the company lovely as always.

I will be getting weighed tomorrow and have tried to drink as much water as possible. I really, really want to make up for last week's gain and get to the 3 stone mark before my birthday in a couple of weeks. Must stay with the water/wee/water/wee routine!

Day 23 on CD

Worked Tuesday and Wednesday so didn't get time to blog. Have been drinking loads and loads of water, so keeping focused!

Today has been a very exciting day. I went with a friend to the kennels where some of the homeless Lab Rescue dogs stay while we wait for them to find new homes. I took Poppy along with me to meet a little Lab girl who has been in the kennels for a few months with no home offers. The plan was to see if Poppy was happy with her and if so, I would foster her. I would also like to proudly point out that while Tracy had a bacon bap from the services, I drank my chocolate tetra pak!

The info we had was that she was originally a breeding bitch and then passed on to a couple who ended up keeping her in the garden. So, for the last couple of years, she had been living out in the garden but because she barked a lot, they gave her up to us.

I'm hoping we can overcome the barking with a bit more routine in her life and of course the company of Poppy and Bumpy when I'm not here. I'll start off leaving her for short periods to try and get her used to being left and see how we go. So far she is being very sweet and loves everyone and everything. We've been to the vets to get her registered and as she was a bit pongy from being in kennels, she has had a bath. After her exciting day, she's worn out now and fast asleep in Bumpy's bed (he's on Poppy's bed).

So, here she is. Please meet Molly

Day 20 on CD

Not a great start to the week. Went and got weighed today (instead of Tuesday as I'm going to be at work) and I've put on a pound. I know its not the end of the world and I've still lost over 2.4 stone, but its a bit of a blow. But, rather than feel cross with myself I'm just going to keep on going and up the water intake. I was working nights last week and I know I always drink less water during the night, so all being well next week will be a good loss and make up for this blip.

Sorry for my grumpiness last week. I'm feeling a bit better now and trying to focus back on the positives rather than the negative thoughts that are normally buried away. I'm sure I will be happier once the weight has gone but I suppose at the moment, what with other things going on, the negative side of me comes out more. Maybe being a Gemini I've got a bit of a split personality.

In non-diet news my parents are now in Barbados. I left work early on Saturday morning and took them up to Manchester airport. Got them there safely and in plenty of time, only to get a phone call from my mum when I was driving home to say they had been offloaded from their plane as one of the engines had caught fire!! Once I was home I checked some online flight info sites and phoned my uncle in Barbados to let him know they would be delayed. Eventually they left Manchester at about 5.30pm. According to the email I had from my uncle earlier, they are enjoying themselves, no doubt helped by the fab weather and what seems to be a drinking tour of the island.

I did have a nice surprise though - while we stopped for coffee on the way to the airport my dad gave me an envelope and said it was an early birthday present (birthday is next month). It was a document from the DVLA confirming that he had purchased a number plate for me - K9 WVP!! Appropriate for me, with the dogs and my initials. It's a very lovely thing as he know's I've wanted it for ages. He wanted me to have it early so I could have the plates on my car in time for my birthday. Unfortunately, silly Dad hadn't signed the form so I can't change them yet. Never mind.

After I'd dropped my parents off on Saturday I popped in to see a friend who I've not seen for a while and she noticed the difference in me, which was nice. Had a coffee and a good chat before I made my way home.

Poppy has been to the vets today to have more fluid drained. She's been going off her food and being rather flumpy but after having 5 litres drained, she seems much happier. She has just eaten some dinner so hopefully will be perkier now she's not carrying the fluid around.

As always, thank you for the lovely comments. I know I am useless at leaving comments for everyone else, but I do read.

Good luck to Sarah Angelica Maybe who is starting CD today. I'm going to have a good week this week and drink plenty of water and look forward to a good loss next time.

Day 17 on CD

Been a bit rubbish at updating this week. Weigh in on Tuesday was fine, lost anothe 3lbs so current total is 347lbs which is good in 2 months.

Had been on nights, then a day off then back in on nights for overtime. Leaving early tomorrow though to drive my parents to the airport.

Still feeling bleurgh. Trying not to be and give an outward show of someone who's happy but feeling down. Don't know why really. Having niggling feelings that although I know the weight is coming off and I know its showing, what if it doesn't make me happier? Maybe I've put too much importance on it and stupid thoughts that if I can sort the weight out I'll end up being happy.

Thank you for the lovely comments. I've not read them properly as I got a bit snivelly and I'm at work so will read again properly from home.

Day 13 on CD

Fed up today. Fed up with the diet, fed up with feeling cold all the time. Working nights this week and I seem to struggle more since being on the foodpacks. I know I've always found the early hours is when I feel really cold, but its worse since I've not had real food. I'm fed up with moaning about being fed up!!

Stupid thing is, I don't actually want real food, I just miss it more when I am on nights. Maybe its because I know I have to stay awake whereas if I was at home I could just go to bed and get over any hunger, or phsycological hunger (Chris, I think you are right with that theory). I made up a strawberry foodpack when I got into work and worked out it was 15 hours since the last pack, yet I didn't feel hungry in between. I'll have another pack later and then that will be my 3 for the day, which is fine and do-able. I did find that on LL having 4 was hard work when it felt like there wasn't enough time to eat them all.

I suppose it is just boredom really. After the initial excitement of starting the diet, having the weight come off quickly now it just feels like I am plodding on with it and no real end in sight. I know I am doing well and hopefully when I get weighed tomorrow I will have gone past the 2.5 stone mark; clothes are looser and some of the things I am wearing now are smaller sizes, so again its a positive thing. I'm just so flipping bored of it all.

Maybe since changing to CD I don't have the focus of the 100 days like I did on LL. I was counting down the days until the first 100 was up but with CD I don't have that goal. If I was still on Foundation, the end of my 100 days would have been 30th June, which is just over 7 weeks away. I'd like to think that I could set myself a goal of having lost 4 stone by then, but thats another 22 lbs and an average of just over 3lb per week, so maybe not achievable.

Day 11 on CD

I think Chris was right, it must be the hormones!! I've felt really hungry, despite having my 3 foodpacks a day and litres of water. Thinking about it though, TOTM did used to be a time when I would stuff myself full of rubbish food, just because it made me feel better. Its weird, as its the carby, starchy things I would crave although I don't crave them specifically now, just wish I didnt feel hungry all the time.

Despite me having started this whole thing back in March, for the last few days I've felt almost as rough as I did at the beginning. I am cold, constant tummy rumbling and feeling empty and feeling tired. I've got some other non-CD related things going on which probably isn't helping, plus of course Poppy's health problems seem to be a day to day thing, maybe its just all affecting more than I realised.

Day 10 on CD

Grumpy today. Not just slightly narky, but majorly TOTM, bad tempered grumpy. Have felt starving hungry all day and had bad tummy. Made sure I shared my misery with anyone willing (or unwilling) to listen.

Working again tomorrow so will hopefully be in a better mood and will then catch up with everyone else in Blogland.

Day 9 on CD

Worked Tuesday night so finished yesterday morning but as I am on day shifts today, ended up not doing anything interesting yesterday as I had to go to bed early to try and catch up on some sleep.

Left the blender at home today and brought in tetra packs of chocolate milkshake and a caramel foodbar. Much nicer than the LL one. Will have a shake when I get home but feeling a bit peckish now. Have drunk loads of water, so thats good.

Work trousers weren't particularly loose, but the waistband is gaping!! I have some strange proportion thing going on as my waist is much smaller than the rest of me. The CDC said that your waist should be half your height, so as my height is 65 inches, my waist should be 32.5. Its 38 now so thats not so bad, just would be nice to feel like the losses are elsewhere!

Day 7 on CD

I have no idea where the last few days have gone, so if anyone know's, please tell me!

Can't believe its been a whole week on CD already!!! Had my weigh in this morning and have lost another 4lbs, so the total is now 34, which I am really pleased with. Stupidly I thought that if I kept up with 4lbs a week then by my birthday (in six weeks) I could have lost 4 stone. Never mind, any loss is still a loss and I shouldn't try and expect the same each week.

Today is a good day, not only because of the loss but mainly because it is Poppy's 3rd Gotcha Day. (A gotcha day is the day you celebrate when you don't know your pet's birthday). Officially, its also her 10th birthday but thats a guess rather than definite! She has been much brighter the last few days, mostly I suspect due to me cooking 3 course meals each day for her, but this morning she was most perky. After I came back from CD meeting we went for a little stroll - only to the green at the end of my road, but it was a little achievement for Pops never the less. This pic was taken while she stopped for a rest.

I'm pleased to report that my mum has been in touch with a CDC near her and she will be visiting tomorrow. Luckily she has found a CDC who does home visits. As she is on prescribed medication she will need to see the doctor so I suggested rather than wait until they come back from holiday to get things started now so she can start when she gets back. I'm ever so pleased as I know that like me, she would make out she was happy as she was, but really she wasn't.


Once again I must apologise for my useless attempts to keep up with everyone's blogs. What with Poppy and work and other stuff going on, I'm a bit all over the place, but I hope you are all doing well out there in Blog Land.

Day 52 (3 on CD)

I think I got a bit muddled somewhere with my day numbering as when I posted yesterday, it was actually the early hours of this morning, so this is technically day 52. I think.

Anyway, I am very pleased to have tried the tetra carton of Chocolate Velvet - it's good! Very smooth and chocolatey, so I will definitely be getting lots more on Tuesday.

Tim has told me off for nibbling cheese, so I'd like to add that it was just a couple of tiny, weeny, miniscule pieces. And I won't do it again. I have told him that out of everybody who know's I am doing this, he is the one who nags me the most. Bless him, I know its done with the best intention. I shall just have to do less out loud thinking and then he won't have to nag me.

Last night shift this week and then not back in until next Thursday. On Monday I am taking my mum shopping as she wants to get some bits for her holiday to Barbados in 2 weeks time. She is very excited and has said that once she is home again, she's going to contact her local CDC and see if she will do home visits, so fingers crossed. I think seeing how well I have done has motivated her, plus of course the difference in cost between LL and CD. She likes a broader range of flavours than me so should be fine on the foodpacks, and as I suggested, can still sit at the table with Dad when he eats and have soup.

In a strange way I am looking forward to work next week as it will be a fortnight since I wore my new work trousers, so I'm hoping they are a little looser. Small things keep me going!

Day 50 (Day 2 on CD)

If I was still on LL, this would be half way through Foundation, but its not! CD is ok so far. Surprisingly, I actually quite like the Toffee & Walnut drink. Still drinking my water but as I'm working nights, have slowed down a little or I will be up all day needing to wee.

Tonight I am working with Katrina, which is great as she did very well on LL so its nice to be a diet bore for the night. Its also encouraging to see that she has hardly put any weight on since going back to normal food. I'm having one of those nights where I find myself thinking of food a lot, but I must keep on resisting.

It is hard, especially when I'm cooking all sorts of things for Poppy, but apart from the odd nibble of cheese, I have been sticking to the foodpacks. Something that did perk me up was comparing my progress from my original LL book and the CD joining sheet. Apparently, my waist is 7 inches less than it was at the start!!! I am actually dead chuffed with that, as I know I feel like I've lost, and of course the scales tell me its over 2 stone, but inches is something new.

Had some good Poppy news earlier. I stopped at the vets on the way to work to collect more tablets and get the results from Wednesday's blood tests. Much to my surprise, and the vets too, the bloods were all relatively normal, which for a dog as poorly as Pops, is very good news. Her urea (sp) level was up which is most likely due to her being dehydrated, so the tablets are being changed around slightly to try and find the right balance. As the vet said, we need Pops to get rid of the fluid, but not to the point where she becomes dehydrated again. Potassium levels were ok, as were electrolytes, so I'm quite relieved that the results were better than expected.

I have been slack again at keeping up with everyone's blogs, but did sneak a peak at Lesley's yesterday and wanted to say congratulations at getting to the end of Foundation with such a fantastic loss so far.

Random pics, just because.......

Saturday afternoon, coffee in SW London

Mindy's boys, Toby and Beenz cooling off at the weekend

Poppy, showing off her bandage after this morning's visit to the vets

Day 49 (day 1 on CD)

Haven't had time to update until now.

Had a great weekend with Mindy and yes, I did eat, but it was mostly all good, healthy food. Mindy's new house is great and it was brilliant to finally see it.

Yesterday I went and saw the CDC for the first time and she was lovely. I was weighed, and considering I'd not been on the scales since the week before last at the LL session, the scales said I was 2lbs less, so that was good. I'm now in the 15's (although in the top bit!).

I have my foodpacks for the coming week and there was much more choice of flavours. Apparently CD make the foodpacks for LL, so there are some similarities - the CD Butterscotch tastes just like the LL caramel, which is a shame, as I wasn't that keen on it. Not to worry, I have plenty more to choose from and also the tetra packs.

Poppy has been worrying me a lot over the last few days as she had gone off her food at the end of last week and wasn't tempted by much at all. I came to the conclusion that the loss of appetite started once she was on the new diuretics, but the vet thinks it could be a coincidence. So, she went in this morning for bloods to be taken and tests as apparently lack of potassium can affect appetite and cause dehydration & lethargy. I'll get the results tomorrow. For the last couple of days, in an effort to get her to eat, I've been cooking up all sorts of things but the favourite seems to be grilled steak, scrambled egggs and cheese. Not an ideal diet, but at least all high in protein which is what she needs.

I have to admit that on Monday night, seeing her laying shiverring, I really did worry that she had had enough, and even accepted that when we went to the vets on Tuesday he might say we had run out of options, but thankfully yesterday she did perk up after eating the steak. Today she has been much brighter, eating 3 grilled steak fillets, one lot of scrambled eggs, 3 thick bits of cheese and some slices of ham. Seeing her bright eyed and waggy tailed tells me she hasn't had enough just yet and I'll keep doing everything I can.

Day 44 & 45

Didn't update yesterday as not a lot to report! Poppy's new bed is great, although Bumpy has claimed it as his own and hardly moved off it all day. Poppy did get to have a little snooze on it, but then as soon as she moved, Bumpy was straight back on it!

We're off to London today to stay with Mindy which is very exciting as we'll get to see her new house. As planned, I'm going to eat real food this evening, but it will be healthy and I'll have my foodpacks for breakfast and lunch, so hopefully won't make too much difference. My new 1Gb memory card for my camera arrived yesterday so I'll no doubt take loads of photo's over the weekend when we are out and about with the dogs.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Day 43

We've been out and about today. Went to Bristol to see a friend and spent the afternoon chatting and catching up and I was very organised and doubled 2 foodpacks and had that before I went and took another with me to have if I got peckish, which I did.

Not a lot else to report really. Poppy's new bed finally arrived although so far only Bumpy has been on it, and he still is now. Maybe tomorrow she will get to use it.

Day 42

It's strange this evening, as for the last 6 weeks, I've spent my Wednesday evenings at the LL session, but not tonight. I've got enough foodpacks left over to keep going until I switch to CD, so I'm going to carry on using them.

Bought some new trousers for work yesterday, a size smaller as my other ones were falling off me! The new trousers fit more snugly than I'm used to but I'm going to stick with the foodpacks so that when I am on days again in a fortnight, they will fit comfortably.

I've got a week off work now as I'm not back on shift until next Wednesday night, by which time I will be on CD. I'm looking forward to it and seeing what the different flavours are like. I'm so bored of raspberry and chocolate now, I'm hoping I like the CD packs!

Day 40 & 41

Didn't get round to updating yesterday, what with being at work and rushing around when I got home.

Having a bit of a strange day. I was emailing one of the girls from the LL group and told her that I'm going to be leaving. I explained about the cost, the times not always fitting in around work etc and she asked if I was going to go along tomorrow, which I said I would. She said why didn't I use up the foodpacks I have, and add sensible meals where necessary, and just start CD next week and save myself £66. This has really got me thinking. I've not had all 4 packs each day so I have loads left at home, although not enough for a week.

However, I am going to Mindy's this weekend and I had already decided I would eat healthily. Mindy has requested grilled fish or chicken and salad etc, so all very good. I'm going to see the CDC on Tuesday morning, so in theory, only need packs for tomorrow, Thursday and Friday and then breakfast and lunch on the weekend. So, I'm currently deliberating with myself as to whether to go tomorrow or not bother. I don't want to stop altogether, but I'm thinking that if I have enough packs, whats the point in going and paying out another £66 to get another week's worth, when I'm not going to need them? Also, as far as my weight, the scales with the CDC could be way out compared to the LLC, so its not necessarily going to be a true reflection of any loss.

Having said all that, the idea of actually buying food and eating food, if necessary, is really quite scary. For nearly 6 weeks, food has not come into my daily routine so having to make decisions about what to eat feels really odd. Its almost scary!

I'm really all over the place thinking about this so maybe the best thing would be for me to go home, see how many packs I have left and then decide.

Day 39

Busy, but good day today. The Oldies Club (see links) organised a south west walk to celebrate their second anniversary, so Bumpy and I were going along. It's been a lovely day here, really quite warm so unfortunately Poppy had to stay at home as she wouldn't have managed the walk which was at the Cotswold Water Park. We met up with lots of other lovely OC supportes at Keynes Park which is where you can walk the dogs round the lakes.

Lots of the dogs enjoyed splashing about in the water and Bumpy had a little paddle, closely watched by Amber and Freddie Bassetts. All the dogs were very good and Bumpy has been snoring loudly since we got home. All the others were staying for a picnic but I came home, partly not to be watching people eat, but also as Poppy needed her tablets.

Thank you for all the comments after me posting about switching to CD. I will keep reading through the Green book and writing in here as already when I look back I see observations I've made about my previous eating patterns so I think a big part for me is realising where I previously went wrong and not going back to those old habits.

Day 38

I've made a big decision today. I'm giving up LL and going to change over to Cambridge Diet. The main reason is the cost, I've got some things going on at the moment so with CD being £33 a week compared to LL at £66, I have to switch.

I've not spoken to my LLC yet but will tell her when I go on Wednesday. I spoke to the local CDC this afternoon who was lovely, and just down the road from me. She's flexible with times etc so that will make life easier with my shift work. I've also been struggling with having 4 foodpacks per day and after chatting with Steph Kittycat on msn, was pleased to find that its only 3 packs per day on CD. I think that will suit me better. Steph is getting on great with it so that takes away any worries I had about changing.

I haven't had any problems with the LL programme, and clearly its working for me, but I don't want to give up VLCD's completely as it does seem to be the only way I can lose weight.

When I was on the phone to the CDC I explained that I wanted to tell the LLC myself, and also have a chance to say goodbye to the girls in the group and wish them luck, as they are all lovely and I will miss them. The plan is that I will get the week's foodpacks I have ordered on Wednesday and use them and then go to see the CDC on Tuesday 24th and start CD once I've used up all the LL packs.

I'm going to have a mini-break from VLCD's at the weekend when I go and stay with Mindy. Her husband, Paul, is a very good cook so she's going to request some healthy meals like grilled tuna with salad and grilled chicken with steamed veg etc, so I will take my foodpacks for breakfast and lunch, but join them for a healthy dinner. I decided that I wanted to enjoy my weekend but didn't want to be rude and not sit and eat with them, so as Paul will cook something nice, I will enjoy it. As Mindy said, I'll probably find that I can't actually eat much anyway, so I don't think its going to do me any harm.

I'm not going to change blog though, as I still see this as my journey to a lighter life!

I waited in today as Poppy's new bed was due to arrive, but it didn't. I was going to go to Bath to meet up with some of the ladies from the minimins forum, but had to stay here, so cut the grass and pottered about in the garden instead.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend and enjoying this beautiful weather.

Day 37

A quiet Friday really. Went to see my mum and took the dogs with me so we went for a walk. Still having the foodpacks and drinking the water.

Thats about it really!!

Day 36

Still happy after yesterday's weigh-in. It's amazing how a good nights sleep and find out you've lost 2 stone can do to cheer yourself up!!

Poppy went to the vets this morning for a checkup after the fluid drain. The bad news is her heart rate has gone up, now 200 (was 150 last month) but the good news is that the vet is happy to continue doing the drains, even if she gets to need them weekly. He prescribed another type of diuretic, one that apparently isn't often prescribed, but as he said, we don't have anything to lose. Unfortunately they didn't have any in stock so will order some in and let me know when they are ready for me to collect. We discussed the next drain and left it that I would see how much fluid comes back and phone next week, with a view to doing the drain on Friday. That would be good as next weekend we're off to London to stay with Mindy so if Poppy can be more comfortable then she can enjoy the weekend too.

Went to see the Two Allans this afternoon as I'd not seen them for a few weeks. They didn't notice any difference in me (*insert grumpy face*) but then again they are blokes, and blokes don't notice much, do they? Also, as Tim pointed out to me before, while I am still wearing the same clothes, its not so obvious. The main thing is that I know I have lost pounds and inches, so thats all that counts.

I'm eagerly awaiting an update from Sarah, aka Angelica Maybe, as its her second weigh-in tonight. Naughty Sarah has been weighing herself each day and doesn't think she's lost much, but hopefully the scales will at the LL session will tell a different story. I did say, however, that everyone is so different with the rate they lose weight, after having such a good start in week 1 (13lbs) she may find she has one week with a big loss followed by a smaller loss and so on.

Day 35 - Weekly Weigh-In

Didn't stay for the group session, but will come on to that in a tic. Lost another 4.5lbs, so thats now 2 whole stone in 5 weeks. I'm very happy with that.

Felt absolutely knackered last night at work after lack of sleep due to getting Poppy home etc. Was really glad to get home but couldn't go to bed as I was waiting for Parcelforce to come and collect the bed I sold and had booked the collection for the morning but they didn't arrive until 4pm, so I only had an hour's snooze on the sofa. Subsequently, feeling rough now and need to be up earlyish in the morning to take Pops for her checkup at the vets.

So, not feeling great due to the lack of sleep (1 hour in 29) so didn't feel like staying for the session. LLC was ok about it though when I explained and I'll make sure I read my green book so I don't miss out.

Day 34

Wow, thank you all for the comments about Poppy - its very kind of you all to take the trouble to post.
I'm very pleased to report that Pops is back home and considerably slimmer than yesterday.

Here's what she was like last week:





And this was taken this morning:

Quite a difference 5 litres makes!! To be honest, I was quite shocked just how skinny Poppy had got, but then she's not been eating properly, so while she had all the fluid it didn't show. I'm just so happy to have her home with me again, and she's not struggling to breath, can lie down comfortably and manage the stairs on her own. We'll go for a walk on the hill tomorrow, which she will hopefully enjoy.

Ok, so back to LL matters. Very, very happy to find that I can get on a pair of jeans that I'd hardly worn as they were always a bit tight. They're a size smaller and put them on this evening to find they are loose!!! How good is that? I don't care how much I lose when I get weighed tomorrow as I've got proof at last that I'm losing inches.

Apart from feeling knackered after not sleeping much today, I'm pleased to report that this is turning into a very good day. Apart from Poppy coming home and getting into these jeans, the fab big bed that Poppy no longer likes will be leaving my house tomorrow and going to its new owner. A lady on the rescue forum offered to buy it, so with a donation to LRSE&C the bed is all packed up ready to be collected by Parcelforce in the morning. I'm still waiting for Poppy's next new bed to arrive and very glad that she's back home now so will be able to make use of it.

I hope everyone out in LL blog land is having a good week.

Day 33

Took Poppy to the emergency vets this evening, before work. She'd gone off her food completely and was very restless, struggling with her breathing and looking very unhappy. Whereas she would be interested in me preparing her food, she wasn't even following me to the kitchen. Pieces of chicken wouldn't tempt her, nor a piece of her easter egg. Fortunately my vets are very good and when the vet called me back after I called the out of hours number, he told me to meet him at the hospital with Poppy.

Struggled to get Pops out of the car and when we got in the vets, she just flopped on the floor, unable to sit or stand comfortably. When Nick, the vet, arrived, he told me I had two choices - do the drain tonight, or make a decision I've been putting off. I explained that after the last drain, the change in Poppy was almost instant, so I wanted the drain done. I know I need to make sure my emotions don't get in the way of any decisions, but I know she's not ready to give up yet. She's still wagging her tail and her eyes are bright, so while she's like that, she's got to have everything done possible.

I signed the consent form (which I always hate) and took Poppy through to the theatre and left her with the vet nurse. Once I was in work, about an hour after I'd left Pops, Nick phoned and said he had managed to drain off 5 litres of fluid which was great news. Surprising, as I was expecting the amount of fluid to be less each drain, but he was pleased with that. He told me she was eating some dinner and he wanted to keep her in over night so the on-site nurse could keep a check on her. I know she didn't rest much today as when I was trying to sleep I could hear her pacing about downstairs, so hopefully she'll be glad of the peace and have a good nights sleep. I'll be glad to go and get her in the morning. Just hope Bumpy is ok tonight as he's never been left on his own overnight since I've had him. My neighbour will be going in at about 10pm as usual, to take him for his last walk and said she'd give him a couple of extra biscuits.

To say I'm relieved, is an understatement. I was so scared earlier as she just looked so pathetic. While we waited for Nick, I sat on the floor with her and cuddled her, talking to her and her eyes were still bright and she knew I was chattering away, but she didn't even have the strength to hold her head up. Obviously this drain is not going to give her much more time, but all the time her eyes are bright and light up when I talk to her, she's going to have everything possible done.

I sat at home earlier, dithering as to whether or not to call the out of hours vets number, but knowing I'd be at work I was so worried that Poppy's heart wouldn't be able to cope and I dread something happening when I'm not there.

Oddly, despite all my worrying, I've not sought comfort from food. I think that before LL I would probably have stocked up on junk food on the way in to work, justifying to myself that I felt down so needed the food. Ok, so I would normally have bought crappy food anyway, but I didn't stop and buy big bars of chocolate or tubes of Pringles.

Once again, thank you for all your kind words on my blog. I will try my best to catch up with everyone.

Day 32

Thank you for all the good thoughts for Poppy. She's much the same today, still not very interested in her food, but there's not a lot that can be done really until she has the fluid drain. I've been giving her bits of cooked chicken and ham with her tablets, so she's getting something.


I treated both the dogs to an Easter Egg each. As you can see, Poppy was not impressed to start with...





She was more interested in watching what Bumpy was doing with his egg.

Bumpy, being a typical food-focused Lab, didn't hang around and even started trying to remove the egg from the foil himself!

Deciding it wasn't poison, Pops had a little bit of chocolate, bless her.

And that was the ONLY chocolate in my house today.

It's been another beautiful day but as I'm on nights from tonight, I tried to have a lie in. Got up at 6am and let the dogs out but went back for another couple of hours. Woke up as I could hear Poppy trying to get up the stairs but sadly she can't manage on her own so I had to jump out of bed to stop her coming up.

Once the dogs were sorted out, pottered around for most of the morning, doing housework stuff and then went back to bed at about 1pm to try and get a few hours extra sleep. Forgot to close the stairgate so was woken by Pops trying, and managing this time, to get up the stairs. She really is a mummy's girl and just wanted to sleep by my bed.

Work is really quiet this evening as due to the weekend there's various stuff put on hold. Co-worker has gone to the pub and I might go and visit my dad later as he's working nights too. Being bored isn't making me want to eat, which is good although I am bored with the foodpacks, but then I suppose I always have and will be.

Going to catch up with everyone else's blogs in a bit, and a special hello to Mel *waving*

Day 31

Another day with not much to report. Didn't start work until 10am and was lucky in that we were able to go home at 4.30pm, so a nice short day and some time to myself at home.

Still drinking the water and getting through the foodpacks.

I'm getting more worried about Poppy as she's going off her food again, probably due to being so swollen. I've got her cooked chicken and bought pouches of 'real' food from the pet shop, so all natural ingredients, but she's not interested in those much anymore. Eventually got her to eat something this evening but its a worry as being a Lab, she's always loved her food. She's booked in for an abdomen drain again on Wednesday so I just hope she can cope until then. Will take her and Bumpy up on the hill tomorrow and see if she can manage a little potter about.

The fab new bed I bought her the other week isn't so popular anymore, which is a shame as I thought it would be comfortable for her, but I think the beans moving about when she goes to get on it are the problem as her mobility is a litle reduced as she's so big around the middle. I found a comfy looking bed on Ebay, which matches Bumpy's bed, so as my paypal account was topped up when I sold a mobile phone on there, I emailed the seller and he can supply the large bed. Hope it arrives soon!

Working tomorrow night but will hope the weather is good again tomorrow as I'll be here to actually enjoy some of it!

Day 30

And what a lovely, sunny day it is. And I'm at work. Not all bad though as lovely co-worker told me not to come in until 10am so I had a lie-in until 6.30 and then got up and pottered about. Took Bumpy for a lovely walk while Poppy stayed home.

Got in for about 9.45am and its all quiet today as there's no one else in, but we still need to do our stuff. I got some of the St Clements powder the other day and don't like it in still water but I'm liking it in sparkling, so that makes a nice change. Also brought my electric blender in so my foodpacks are nice and smoothly made.

Talked to Sarah this morning who has had a fantastic first week's loss which has made me really happy for her. I know its been a hard week but the results hopefully make it all worthwhile.

Hope eveyone is having a good long weekend.

Day 29

Not much to report today. Went to work, drank lots and lots of water and about to have my last foodpack of the day. Not really in the mood for blogging to will go and watch some telly.

Day 28, pt - Weekly Weigh-In

Lost another 2.5lb's, so that's a total of 23.5lb's so far.

Work tomorrow so off to bed now.

Day 28

As I type this, I can hear the ice cream van up the road. Its annoying rather than tempting, so thats good.

Domestic day today as back to work tomorrow and I like to have everything clean and tidy as I don't have time when I get in after work. I'll be on my 3 days/3 nights which means no Easter break for me, but I don't actually mind and wouldn't have been doing much anyway.

There are 2 easter eggs in the house. Not for me, they are special Dog Easter Eggs that I got in the pet shop yesterday, so there is no temptation. Poppy has been a bit unwilling to eat so I got some more naturediet yesterday along with some pouches of natures menu. Seems she likes the 'real' food with her biscuits, but so long as she eats, I don't really care. There's a new pet shop opened in town here which is great as it stocks the food Bumpy has. It's one of the cheapest but its made for working dogs, and is one of the few that doesn't upset his tummy. We'll be going up the hill in a bit for our walk but have to wait until after 3pm as the cow's go in for milking then.

I'm looking forward to weigh-in tonight although I'm being realistic in thinking that the loss will probably start to slow down. Don't care though as I'm one and a half stone lighter than I was a month ago, which is great.

Will report back later after weigh-in.

Day 27, pt 2

After this morning's handbag post, I'm pleased to report that normal Blog service has been resumed.


I had my blood pressure check this morning. Everything was good and my BP has lowered a little, which is great. Nursey Lisa was lovely and said she's really pleased with my progress and that I even looked happier, so thats good feedback.

Reading posts on minimins and seeing how other's are being charged for their BP checks and don't always seem to get much support from their surgery, I really do feel lucky to have such great support from Lisa. She's not a skinny chick herself and said she can relate to how I've felt, so thats good.

Had my hair appointment this afternoon so I am now a lighter shade of blonde, thanks to fresh highlights and I've had more layers cut into my hair. Despite being 2 weeks overdue for my cut, I was good and managed to refrain from hacking at my fringe with the kitchen scissors, so its nice to be able to see properly again!

Talking on the phone to Sarah today and I was very relieved to hear that she's getting on better now after feeling so rough the first few days. I know how much better I am feeling and I was really, really wanting Sarah to stick with it and get over the crappy phase. Seems the discovery of turning a vanilla foodpack and some St Clements flavouring into a cheesecake smoothie will be her saviour!

Something else that occurred to me yesterday was that since starting LL, I'm not snacking (obviously!). I used to snack a lot and didn't have set meal routines but I'm hoping that by having the foodpacks I will get out of the habit of snacking. I plan what packs to have, like today, knowing I would be leaving the house around lunchtime, I doubled up a raspberry and had that at about 10am, knowing that I wouldn't be hungry until I got home at about 4.30pm and planned to have a soup. I had my hot chocolate at about 9pm and thats me done for the day. I know its ages away until Management and beyond, but I'm pleased with how my thought patterns are changing and rather than missing food, I'm making positive, conscious plans for the part food will play in my life.

Weigh-in tomorrow and I'm excited. Mad really as stepping on scales would usually fill me with dread!

Hope everyone out in Blog land is having a good week.

Day 27 - Especially for Cath

Just for Cath, a pic of my fab new bag! Good to know another fan of Radley bags out there.

As mine was from the Outlet, it is one of last year's but at £40 off, mum wasn't complaining!!

Day 26

Had a good day today. My car was booked in for a service (I'd kept putting it off so it was long overdue) and while it was in the garage, I'd arranged to take my mum to the Great Western Outlet Village in Swindon. So, dropped the car off and collected the loan car and went to my parents house. As I'd left the house at 8.30am I'd not had a foodpack so took my whisk and a raspberry pack with me and had my breakfast there.

After I'd 'eaten' we headed off for the shops. Mum was looking for some new sandals to take on holiday although she didn't know what she wanted until she found them! We were both cheered up when we went into the Radley shop and she was very lovely and bought me a new Radley handbag as an early birthday present. She spotted a bag for herself for her holidays, so that was both of us happy.

Eventually mum found exactly what she was looking for and now has a very comfy looking pair of leather sandals and as we were getting closer to Starbucks, we went in for a coffee. I was very good as I'd taken a Lemon foodbar with me so while mum ate her cinnamon swirl and drank her latter, I ate my foodbar and drank the bottle of water I bought. I even managed not to dribble as the couple at the next table ate their cheese and ham pannini's, which is a snack I love! But I behaved myself and didn't give in to temptation and after I was pleased with myself.

To finish off our shopping mum got me a very good extra birthday present - an electric steamer!! I'd said that I planned to get one when I go into Management so obviously won't be needing it yet, but she's going to save it for me and wrap it up for my birthday. It was too good a bargain to miss and its great to know I'll have it when I need it. Who would have thought I'd get excited over a steamer?!

All in all we had a good morning out. It was good to think that in a few months I will be able to buy clothes in the Outlet Village. Oh, and before I forget, if anyone who reads this blog has an outlet place near them with a Jaeger shop - their sizes are generous! We walked through on our way out and spotted the £10 or under rail and mum found a pair of trousers in a size 18 but they looked quite roomy. When she tried them on they fitted well and she was most pleased as she's usually a 20!

Got my car back in the afternoon after coming home for a bit. Poppy needed her tablets and Bumpy wanted a walk and I wanted to admire my new bag. And send a photo of it to Mindy!

Off to the doctors in the morning for my BP check and then hairdressers in the afternoon.

Day 25, pt 2

I've been catching up with everyone else's blogs and realise how pants I've been at keeping up, so thank you all for your support. Sorry its only a picture, but the sentiment is real!

Day 25

A QUARTER OF THE WAY THROUGH!!!


Well, the first 100 days of Foundation, anyway. But it feels good and has perked me up a bit. Still thinking about food quite a lot but imagining the nice things I will have once I get to the end of this. From now on I will keep telling myself that if I can get this far without eating, I can easily carry on.

Having a lazy day today, apart from a bit of housework and walking the dogs. Will catch up with everyone else's blogs later as I've been a bit poop at keeping up and you lot are all so supportive.

Day 24

Another quiet day. Came home from work in the morning but had to go to the vets to collect more tablets for Poppy so had to wait until they opened at 9am. Went to bed at about 9.30 and didn't bother setting the alarm, just thought I'd sleep until I woke up but didn't get up until nearly 4pm. Will no doubt not want to sleep later.

Feeling a bit fed up today. I'm trying to stay positive that this is nearly one quarter of the way through the first 100 days, but I'm just missing food. Period is due so thats probably not helping but I keep thinking of nice things I would have had, even though I know they are what made me fat. I have just made a hot chocolate and doubled up as I'd only had 2 foodpacks so far, but couldn't help thinking I would much rather have had a Chinese takeaway! Must keep on reminding myself that in a few months I can and being slimmer is better for me now than having the food I want.

It's turned out really windy here this afternoon so we had a rather blustery walk on the hill. Was nice though, to get some fresh air and the dogs enjoyed it.

Had to just come back and edit as I remembered some nice news. Poppy came runner up in a Valentines competition for the Oldies Club which is a charity that helps rehome more mature dogs. She gets a lovely new tag and her choice of biscuits from http://www.dixiedog.co.uk/products.html. They make fab homemade dog bisctuis with all natural ingredients.

Day 23

Nearly a quarter of the way through the first 100 days! Feels like its trundling along quite nicely.

Working again tonight, so have been sleeping in the day. Well, apart from getting up to wee. Co-worker Tim is eating soup and it smells very nice, along with his crusty bread. He bought in a french stick which I sniffed a few times earlier. I miss bread. I'm having a raspberry drink and will banish all bread related thoughts from my mind.

Rather than think constantly about this diet I've been trying to concentrate on other things, as in changes I've noticed so far. My belt is now done up 3 notches tighter. My jeans are looser. I can wrap my bath towel further round me and the same with my dressing gown. Apart from when I'm working nights, I have more energy. I wake up easier in the morning. I feel more positive. I'm actually looking forward to the summer!

Day 22

Not much to report today really, seeing as I've been asleep during the day. Well, apart from getting up as I needed the loo.

I had a raspberry shake in the morning while I was still at work and had another foodpack when I got here at about 7pm so to make sure I have all 4 I'm doubling up a hot chocolate. Haven't felt like having a soup so can see myself ending up having just 2 flavours each day. Never mind.

Poppy is plodding along still although I think she's getting a little swollen again. Will have to keep a close eye on her in case I need to bring forward the drain, but in herself she's still happy and waggy. She's so pleased to see me when I get home its just lovely. I've been giving her each lot of tablets wrapped in a slice of thin ham as I often struggle to get them down her (she has 5 tablets in the morning, 2 at lunchtime and another 4 in the evening) but as soon as I get the ham out of the fridge she's in the doorway, eyes lit up and so excited. I'm resisting the urge to eat the ham but did lick a slice last week, just to remind myself what it tasted like!

In June there is a works thing on in central London at a really posh venue where we'll be having a garden party. Tim said I'll have to find a posh frock if I go. To be honest, posh frock shopping is rather alien to me so I have no idea whether I will go, but its on the 15th and the end of my 100 days of Foundation is the 30th, so in theory I could be a lot slimmer. It's weird as the idea of going out to buy a dress almost terrifies me - I've never been a very girly girl and I'm usually in jeans and baggy tops or jumpers. Maybe as I get further through this it will seem less scary and I might get a little excited about dressing like a girl for a change, who knows.

Day 21 - pt 2 & The Weekly Weigh-In

Another 3lbs since Sunday, so thats a grand total of 21 lbs lost so far, in 21 days!!!!! To say I am very pleased is an understatement.

I can do my belt up by another notch, which is also rather fab as at least I am noticing changes in my body rather than just the numbers on the scales. Have been naughty today though and only had one foodpack before the group session. Didn't really help that after doing my domestic bits and bobs I went back to bed for a few hours and then didn't want a foodpack when I got up. Since getting to work this evening I've had a soup and will have a hot chocolate before midnight and then have to start a new day after 12. Think I should be ok but I've just not felt hungry, although at least from tomorrow I will have a bit more routine to my day. Starting nights always messes things up.

Group session was good, although I giggled my way through most of it. Hayley, who I was sat next to, makes me laugh constantly and at one point I was literally crying I was laughing so much. It's a nice group of people though and as the weeks go on we are all getting more comfortable discussing things, which is great. We talked about meeting for a coffee next week before the group so will try and remember that.

Before I sign off for tonight, I'll just wish Sarah aka Angelica Maybe a good first LL session tomorrow (GOOOD LUCK!!!) and say hello to Mark *waving*

Will catch up with everyone else but as always, thank you for all the supportive comments - you are all very lovely.

Day 21

Blimey, 3 weeks gone already!! Not much to report so far today as I've not been up that long. On nights tonight so tried to sleep in a bit but for some strange reason, I was still up earlyish. Will try and sleep later.

Been playing around with the blog layout this morning and have added a few links. Don't know why I didn't think of doing that before!! Anyway, have added The Refuge which is a great rescue-related forum, my good friend Sarah's rescue site (she runs the Bengal Cat Rescue) and the Dogstar Foundation which supports a vet in Sri Lanka to neuter, flea treat and vaccinate stray dogs that live around the temples. Sam, who runs the Foundation, went to Sri Lanka last year to work with the Millenium Elephant Foundation and decided to do all she could to help the stray dogs that are often cared for by monks but they don't have the funds for basic veterinary care. I've also added LRSE&C which is where my dim, blind Bumpy came from as they are a fab Labrador Rescue who I volunteer for, and Mindy is one of the area co-ordinators.

Not much planned for today, just some housework and then try and get a couple of hours sleep this afternoon. Will be back later with an update after the weekly weigh-in.

Day 20

Well its been a busy day today. Haven't even had time to think about LL really, which is good I suppose. Took Pops to the vets this morning for her checkup. Not brilliant news but she's got to have another fluid drain in 2 weeks although the vet warned me that as she has more drains done, they will not be able to take so much fluid. The right side of her heart is pretty much knackered so its just going to be waiting until her heart gives up completely. In herself though, she's still happy and waggy and eating well.

After we got back, I had my usual breakfast of a hot raspberry shake. I've never actually tried it cold but like it hot, which is possibly a bit odd. Once I'd had that I decided that as it was such a lovely sunny day, I'd go to the garden centre for a few things. There's a lovely one near me at Lacock and as I was looking for a rose, I went there as they have a good selection.

Last year for my birthday my dad made me a pergola for the patio and I have a yellow Clematis which grows up one side so I thought I would find a nice yellow climbing rose to grow up the other side. I found one called Arthur Bell which was just what I wanted and it will have strongly scented flowers apparently. I got a couple of lovely glazed blue pots for the rose and to move the clematis into. Also bought some perennials - Pinks, Lupins, Red Hot Poker and some flower seeds and spent most of the afternoon out in the garden planting everything up. Just got to wait for it all to grow now!

I suppose that being busy, I didn't feel hungry and wasn't thinking about food. I know I didn't have enough water but will try and make up for it this evening. I didn't have my second foodpack of the day until about 6pm so will double up 2 chocolate's and them have later. I avoided going anywhere near the cafe at the garden centre as I still don't feel ready to be near food yet - that it always smells lovely in there I'm not sure I trusted myself!

I phoned Katrina at work last night and had a lovely chat with her. She's done with LL now and eating normal food again but she said she is very much aware of what she's eating. I was trying to remember when it was she started, but I think its about 6 months now so to think that in that time she has lost the weight she wanted to and is back on proper food is very inspiring.

Weigh-in night tomorrow, which I'm looking forward to. I'll try and remember to read my Foundation book tomorrow, in between sleeping as I'm on nights from tomorrow. I don't think I could manage this without the weekly session as I am still really missing food. Nothing specific, just real food. I expect its quite normal and I will just keep on reminding myself that I've done nearly 3 weeks of this already, so if I can do 3 weeks, whats a few more?

Day 19

A good day today. Weather has been great so I've been out in the garden, tidying and painting the fences. The whizzy paint sprayer has to be the best thing I've bought in ages, its lovely and quick.

Poppy is still perky, which is great, and we had a fab walk up on the hill again today. I love it that we never see anyone else and can potter about as we please and the view is fantastic too.

Spoke to my mum again today and she's still very interested and really pleased for me after my weigh-in yesterday. Thanks ladies for the suggestions of CD - I mentioned it to her and she's going to see how I get on and maybe think about doing it later in the year.

Only had a short chat with Mindy today as she's not got her home phone connected yet in the new house and the mobile reception is, at best, dodgy. Strange for central London, but there we go. The new house sounds wonderful and I can't wait for when we visit next month. She's had so much stress and hassle over the last few months that I'm so pleased she's finally in and it's everything she dreamed it would be.

I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of days about the conversation I had with my mum on Saturday and about my weight holding me back. It has, and it does, and I know it. I think thats probably what makes me feel sad about being overweight; how my perception of myself has affected me. Or rather, how I have let it affect me. Way back in my pre-fat days I used to go horse riding regularly, go ice skating, go clubbing etc and I loved all those things. I can't really remember the last time I did any of them. At work, there's often nights out but even if I'm not working I very rarely go. I just hate the feeling that I'll be the 'token fat-bird' and look stupid. I know that most of how I feel is probably stupid and purely down to my lack of self confidence, but I suppose I just got used to wanting to blend in and not stand out. Anyway, I'm going to try not to think about it too much and concentrate on looking forward. To being able to do what I want, whether its ride a horse, go out or whatever. Onwards and upwards!

Day 18, pt 2

I went to the pop-in session earlier and got weighed - I've lost another 4lbs, YIPPEEEE!!! So thats 18lbs in 18 days. I'm over the moon with that.

Actually, it was quite nice as the LLC only had one other person call in and she was leaving when I got there so we had the chance to chat a bit. We talked about once I get on the Management and in some ways its a bit scary to think that in however many months I'm going to be let loose with real food again. Obviously I don't want to go back to eating the same kind of crap that got me where I am now, so it was reassuing to know that there will be menu idea's and food plans to help.

I was saying that I had been thinking a lot about the group session and how our parents affect our eating habits and that a lot of the veg I hate is probably due to being fed soggy, overcooked stuff as a child. I'm not blaming my parents, but I suppose 25 years ago there wasn't so much choice in food, nor the variety in cooking methods. So, thinking ahead, I've decided I'm going to invest in a steamer when I get closer to Management. Before starting LL I went for dinner with the Two Allans and they'd cooked the veg in a steamer and I was surprised how good it tasted! I'm not expecting to change my intense hatred of pea's, but other green food could be ok.

Day 18

My mum rang me this morning for a chat. She's being so supportive of me doing LL, its great although makes me feel a little daft for not telling her at the beginning. She was surprised that I don't always feel hungry enought to eat all the foodpacks, considering how much I used to be able to eat, and said I must make sure I have all 4 each day to get my vitamins and minerals etc.

There's a pop-in session this evening. Think I might go along, just to have an interim weigh-in and check I'm still in ketosis, especially as I've not had so much water the past couple of days.

Day 17

Went and saw my mum today. I told her all about LL and to start with, as expected, she was worried as she thought 500cals a day isn't enough, but once I had explained about the programme, the counselling, the regular check-ups at the doctor she was a lot happier. She said she was pleased for me as she's always felt my being overweight has held me back a bit in life. I know she will be wanting to know how I get on and its good to know she's supportive. She even said she thought I was brave cutting food out completely, bless her.

Otherwise, a quiet Saturday. Took my car to the garage to get it booked in for a service the week after next. Haven't had it done for ages so it will be in there for a few hours, plus new timing belt which according the the big book of timing belts will take about 3 hours! So, have booked a loan car and as the garage is close to my parents, my mum and I are going to go to the outlet village.

Something I am looking forward to is shopping at the outlet village once I've lost weight. Whenever I've been there, I've never bought anything to wear apart from a few tops in Gap, so it will be great to get some bargains once I take a smaller size. Mum could relate to that as she's gained weight herself over the years. Although she's taller than me at 5' 7" (I inherited the short genes from my dad) she still wants to lose weight. We looked at the LL website while I was with my mum but there's not a counsellor near to her unfortunately. My dad works shifts and mum doesn't drive anymore so she would be reliant on him to take her, but I said maybe look again in a few months and see whether there are any new counsellors or wait until my dad cuts down his hours and they can be more flexible on days etc.

I was going to pain the fence but its a bit blowy here today so I've postponed. I got one of those whizzy sprayer things and as much as I'd like to play about with it, its too windy. I shall do houseworky things instead and maybe cuddle up on the sofa with Pops and read my book. I like days like today when I can do what I want!

Day 16

Friday already! Poppy seems to be feeling much better, which is brilliant. She's more lively, has her appetite back and has been out on the hill for some walks. We did a homecheck today so she came out for the ride in the car although Bumpy was homechecking assistant today. It's his 2nd Gotcha Day - can't believe its a whole 2 years he has been here. He is oblivious of course as his whole world revolves around food, sleep, walks, cuddles and chewing a Nylabone when the mood takes him.

So, back to dieting matters. I sleem to have slowed down on the water intake, which is not good and I need to step it up. I've also found I've not felt hungry enough to eat all the foodpacks but I'm forcing myself as I know I need the intake of vitamins and minerals. Weird though, to think that a few weeks ago I could quite happily stuff my face full of all sorts of crap!.

I've decided that I'm going to tell my mum about LL tomorrow. I love my mum to bits and we have a very good relationship, but for some reason I never tell her some things that are really important or private. I suppose deep down I've not told her yet as I worry that she will think its dangerous or I will fail and let myself down. I'm sure she know's that I am unhappy as I am but she doesn't want to add to my despair by talking about it. I want my mum to be happy for me that I'm taking control of this part of my life which makes me so unhappy. I don't think she truly know's how unhappy being overweight makes me, as its never something I have talked about.

I don't really know why I decided now that I would tell my mum, maybe its because I feel that now I'm in my third week and have started off so well, its almost like I needed to convince myself that I could do this before I told her. Now I really do feel I am going to succeed. I think that when I started I wanted to succeed but 100 days or more seemed like a long way to go, but now I am used to not eating, and of course havfing lost a stone so far, its finally sunk in that I can do this.

Day 15

Thank you all for the lovely messages, especially wishing Poppy well - its very kind of you to think of us.

Poppy is doing well today after yesterdays trip to the vets. When we got there she had to be weighed and her usual weight is between 29kg and 30kg. She weighed in at 37kg which is al the fluid she was carrying. The vet rang me before I could pick her up and said he'd managed to drain over 4 litres which was really good as the last time, a month ago, it was only 1 litres. He said that for her to be roughly 8kg's overweight, it would be all the fluid. Its more than likely that she will fill up again and I need to watch for side effects like swollen feet, but we've got an appointment for Tuesday for her to have a checkup.

When I picked her up at lunchtime, she looked so much different already and was much livelier in herself. She's always pleased to see me but this time she had a spring in her step and was wagging her tail non stop. I'm sure she must have felt better not having those four litres to carry around!

I know that being realistic she isn't going to get any better and we can only try and keep her going, but I'm hoping that when she does fill up again she can have regular drains to ease the fluid and we can maybe have a few more months. She got stuck in Bumpy's bed the other day and I had to tip her out so I found a huge new bed for her online yesterday and its being delivered today, so hopefully she will feel more comfortable knowing she can't get stuck if she has a roll around.

Ok, so back to this diet. As I was out to the vets and with Bumpy yesterday morning I didn't have my first foodpack until nearly 1pm, although I didn't really feel hungry. I did actually struggle to have all 4 and ended up taking one of the bars to have in the meeting and then a chocolate when I got home. I was glad that I had planned my packs for the coming week as it made it much easier to fill in my order form knowing that I would have a bit more variety.

Our LLC said that our group was now closed as we had had a few new ladies join over the last couple of weeks. The new ladies seem nice although there's a couple that I've not really spoken to. After reading about the fitness instructor in the DVD on Minimins, I giggled most of the way through that bit of the DVD we watched last night. I'm such a grown up sometimes. Not.

I still don't feel much different after losing one stone, but I did find yesterday that I could get my jeans off without undoing them - useful, huh?! While we were sitting there last night I was fiddling with my hands and twisting my ring, which had always been tight, and it just slipped off! A pleasant surprise but I'd never thought my hands were fat so I think I'd rather be losing fat elsewhere.